Sunday, July 15, 2007

Friends & I Part - I

Friends are the people with whom one spends most of his/her time other than family members. We accept them the way they are, in case we don’t they are not called as friends. Friends are the people whom we choose, rather than family members with whom we are born with and will remain same during our life time. Friends on the other hand can be changed or left behind. Friends share a lot of things, right from materialistic stuff to personal life experiences. We get acquainted with different people at different places and become friends with them. I met many people during my college years. Some of them became my friends. Out of them also some become my good some friends and some just remained as friends. As our college is over everyone is going their own ways. I don’t miss them as such but wouldn’t ever forget them and will always remember them.

I will express my views on my friends from my college years, the order of description being proportional to the feelings I had with those friends (in the ascending order) or the bonding I had with them or the feelings I had for them. A common trait which nearly all of them have is that they are unselfish people.

Kshitij

I have known this guy from school days but became friends in 2nd year of college. This guy doesn’t seem to always like my company nor do I think he likes me much. I am kind of indifferent to him. Frankly I am writing about him as he was one of the persons who contributed to my surprise birthday present. This guy is a bit shy. He doesn’t speak much. He doesn’t gossip at all (best part about him, though it can get a bit boring to sit with him in lectures). He is easily the most helpful persons I have ever seen, not only to his friends but also to people he might not totally like. He is a very dedicated person, be it studies or his relations with his friends. But we do share common interest in football with both being huge Manchester United fans. As he is shifting to pune for his job, I don’t think we will much contact left, as I don’t think he is the kind of person who would initiate calling some one, nor do I think I will call him. I also find him a bit egoistic person to call or even start a chat session.

Preetika

I came to know her as the girl who topped 2nd semester examination. She is the studious person of our group and is department rank 2. I started talking to her often in the past one year that too after she started going out with my friend. Previously my conversations with her were to just help my friend get her, in which I think I failed terribly. She used to be a bit rude to me back then (this is at least what I felt). She used to be too studious and one could easily call her a nerd. But now I guess she has changed a bit and has become a bit more easy going. But still she is not the most chilled out person you would meet. I always found her to be belonging to a breed of girls one could marry (not for me, but in general). Even I don’t know but I always felt that. She is beautiful and on top of that doesn’t speak crap. May be that’s the reason. I think we will be in contact as long as she has contact with my friend.

Tirtha

She is the smallest person in our group. She is a sweet female. I find her pretty cool. Always talks nicely and have rarely seen her getting pissed off at me in spite of the fact I irritated her lot during our travel to college. She acts a bit dumb at times, not matching her age. I don’t know her much, so can’t comment much about her.

Anupama

I started talking to this girl in 3rd year. She is a very sweet female. I travelled with her to college with another friend in the final year. She is one girl who seems to have a lot of patience. She speaks very less. I think she should start interacting more as she is now going to start with her job. She is a very chilled out female. I havent seen her taking tension or anything. She has her siblings and doesnt require anyone other than them to entertain her. She speaks very softly. She is an intelligent person. She studies on the last days and still manages to score good marks. I don't know her much as she never spoke much. I wish we can keep in touch and be in contact as long as possible.

Tanmay

He is one of the coolest guys I have ever met. I really didn’t like this guy for first two years of engineering till we shared apartment in our goa trip. From that time I have really started liking this guy. He is always ready for fun and time pass. He is an innocent person. Due to his innocence he tends to speak right on the face of the person, which is obviously not appreciated by the person. He really likes to party a lot. He somehow talks to all babes of our college. How he manages that is beyond my understanding. I really wish I have contact with this guy in future as well.

Sanket

This guy always has a smile on his face. He really cares for his friends. He doesn’t get irritated easily. He is a helpful person. He likes to gossip a lot. He likes to make up stories and generate romantic relations between people which don’t exist. All of that is a part of fun. He was the CR of his class. He somehow took his job a bit too seriously and kind of annoyed sometimes by saying “Maine bola na”, as if he was the sole person sent by God to whom all information will be transmitted to us. He surely knows how to maintain relations. One would rarely see him hurting some one. He makes it a point to call me regularly. I really like this habit. In spite of his bragging nature, he is a person whom I find very lovable and a good friend.

God bless him.

Devarshi

I have known him for more th,an 10 years now. He was in my class for a lot of time but we never talked much. Though, I had good acquaintance with him. He is the one in our group who plans the treks. Always takes up the responsibility. Though, I have seen him getting disappointed twice or thrice because people backed out or something. And because of this I have missed a chance to be a part of his treks. He acts in a bit childish manner sometimes (he could beat me for writing this). I find him a bit immature at times. He cares a lot for his friends. I have noticed this many times. He is also one of the people who are game to party anytime. He is the one who comes up with nasty ideas about how to fool people or give them some weird gifts before giving them birthday presents. All in all he is a good person to hang out with.

Monindro

I first saw this guy during our first semester exam. He sat right behind me. I use to think him of as a fool, and good for nothing guy. Later my view completely changed. He is one of the smartest persons in our group. Always dresses nicely and never speaks crap, except for his timely stupid jokes. He underestimates himself a lot. I don’t why. He is really a ‘pyaara banda’. As he is in mumbai I wish I have contact for him through out lifetime.

Akanksha

She has been in my class for the whole of engineering. Now she is with me in job as well. She is really a very sweet female. Some how she likes company of guys more than that of females. She is really a simple person. She gives a frank opinion about what she likes and what she doesn’t. Sometimes she behaves in a bit child like manner, which sometimes become embarrassing for the person who is with her. She has that ‘gaowala’ innocence attached to her, which I really like. I have never seen her getting angry or yelling at some one. She manages to score more marks than all of her friedns by studying not even half of them (not that i am jealous or something, but it surprises me). How she manages that is beyond my comprehension. She has a good habit of reading the newspaper everyday. And she manages herself pretty nicely considering she lives with her brother, cooks for him and stuff (her parents stay somewhere else, these two people study here). She is also a good company. She is also a good listener and I really find her an understanding friend.

Harpreet

I have known this guy from childhood. We used to travel together to college in first year, and then our batches and classes got separated. I used to bug him with utter crap during our travel time. I seriously doubt he intently listened to what I said. Waiting for him then was suicidal as he just doesn’t know how to come on time. He is a completely chilled out person. He never takes tension for anything. He is easily the most intelligent guy I have met, who’s of my age. I always felt he never did justice to his potential. I feel he is really unsure of what he wants from life. Nowadays he is bored of life and basically everything. He is one person who is never short of cash and hence is always ready to party. He nevre hesitates to spend money on others. He doesn’t take part much in gossip. Many a times people tell him something interesting and still he forgets it. He is kind of a techno geek. Likes playing games on his pc. He lives with his pc and one could call his pc as his wife.

Aneesha

I met this female in our tour bus in goa. I knew she existed in college but never had an opportunity to talk to her. I have interacted with her through chat sessions (thanks to Yahoo! Messenger for that). She is really a mature person and one with whom I feel comfortable to share anything. Maybe its because we communicate through chat and don’t see each other. I always thought of her as a strong woman till I saw her cry for not getting good marks in one semester exams. This kind of surprised me. Maybe I can’t understand what she felt at that time, as she is a topper and I am not. She is a good child to her mother (I wish she continues to be the same). She is also a good friend to me. I find her an inspirational person. She is highly ambitious (I wish she achieves all her dreams one day). I really like this attitude of hers. She generally takes things in a simple manner. Though she has shifted to pune, we try our best to be in touch with each other. I wish our destiny makes us to meet again, as we both work for same organization.

Abhishek

Rama as we call him is the guy who helped instill patience in me when someone is teasing you. He makes fun of absolutely anyone and everyone. Even his best friends are not spared. He mimics people and their gestures really nicely. You can’t get bored with him. He speaks bluntly on the face and doesn’t care about what other might think. I like this nature of his. But some people hate him for that. He is kind of hypocrite as doesn’t like some one teasing him. He used to be really selfish during initial years of our engineering. But now he has changed a lot. Now he understands people more nicely. But sometimes behaves really immaturely. He Loves his friends and that is very apparent. He is in Mumbai and his office is near to mine. I will definitely try to be in contact with him through out my life.

Nikhil

Fote as we call him. I know this guy from childhood but became friends in 2nd year of college. He happened to be one of my best friends in college. He listens to me patiently and has rarely complained that I speak a lot. He himself can’t keep quite for a moment. He pretends that he doesn’t care for people around him, but the fact is that he cares a lot. He went all the way to wadala from our college for a work which was not even his own, but of his friend’s (by the way wadala is really far away from our college). He is not much affected by the people around him, would be more appropriate to say. He underestimates himself a lot. He likes to read a lot and is generally updated about the happenings in the world. He loves his computer. He kind of likes to counsel people. He has an attitude that he wouldn’t ask anyone for help or moral support as he feels every one else is less mature than him. I would kind of agree, though not completely. He is really very cool. He likes to gossip a lot. He likes to always first notice bad things about people rather than good things. And he presents them in a funny way. He takes everything as fun. Because of this sometimes he doesn’t realize that he his hurting some one. I don’t like this habit of his. He wasn’t like this when he joined college. But in the past two years he has groomed really nicely and is generally the center of attraction in our group. He never calls and I wouldn’t be wrong in saying that he could forget me in next one year. Basically he doesn’t need people to entertain him. I doubt if we will be in much contact after two years. I would try my level best but that won’t be enough. Whatever!!! This guy gave me the best moments of my engineering days without doubt. I Love him for that and will always do.

Moushmi

I had a formal introduction with this female in first year in our bus ride to college (another one whom I met in bus). Though, she doesn’t remember this. After that we started talking and became friends during sixth semester. We used to travel together to our mba coaching classes together. We didn’t gain much from our coaching classes except for we made friends with each other and had lots of fun in lectures with other friends, rather than sitting home on boring Sunday mornings. She was kind of a substitute to my ex-girlfriend in the sense that I used to share a lot with her about my daily happenings. Then she became such good friend that now I would have to search a substitute for her in my life. This is because her work place is now pune. She would come to Mumbai only twice or thrice in a month. We used to travel together to our college in the last year. In the seventh semester she didn’t speak much, as it was I who spoke. She is a very good listener. She actually listens to what I say. But in eighth semester she started speaking by herself. After that she became very open to express her thoughts to me. She generally manages smile on her face. This attribute of hers attracts every one towards her. She occasionally gets angry on either me or frustrated at something. But generally she is pretty cool. She rarely gets irritated when I tease her or something. Frankly I have lost count the number of time I have said sorry to her. She knows when to speak and when to keep quite. I really admire this nature. She never talks to rudely to anyone. She is soft spoken. I haven’t really found any attribute of hers which I dislike. May be because till now I must have told her and at least she would have taken care to not display her trait of hers in front of me. We have talked about anything and everything we could think of. Sometimes if her mood is good, then we do have nice discussions. With her I don’t think anyone of us ever got bored or out of topics. Our bus rides were really enjoyable and filled with quite a bit of drama at times. I could never forget the time we spent together. I some times don’t like it when she doesn’t express herself properly and tries to end a conversation abruptly. It is apparent that I like her a lot as a friend and hence have written so much about her. I wish that for the entire lifetime we remain as friends. As for being in touch with her, I don’t know about her, but I would definitely be in touch with her.

Shantanu

Easily this guy was my best friend in college. I can never forget the time when he stood with me patiently outside principal’s office when I had flunked knowing that standing there wouldn’t serve any purpose. This was after he had got all his backlogs cleared and was really happy after two years of struggle. He is really a very hardworking person. but likes to enjoy with that also. Apart from the time we spent in college, he used to call me every night that too at the same time when I was having dinner or was about to have dinner. He used to tell me practically everything which was relevant or irrelevant. We gelled together well as I am a good listener to what he says. I always find his talks interesting. He likes to party a lot. Even I would like to, but have never done much (not that I didn’t have enough money or something, plainly because I never socialized as much as him). So when he used to come and tell me his incidences, I used to feel I am living it through him. I came to know what all things exist in the world without actually encountering them. He is a real party animal. He has finally attended a page three party, but didn’t have his photo being published in paper. For one thing, I have always felt the guy has been really honest to me about himself. He has accepted his flaws also. He likes to gossip as many of my other friends. He somehow likes to criticize people. But, doesn’t like anyone saying anything to him (yeah he is a big hypocrite). He is very judgmental about people and generally can make his friends believe in his views about others. He can be selfish at times (has never been to me, but know many times when he has been to others). He has had the guts to tell me when he has envied some one or done wrong to some one. I have never seen anyone accepting his mistakes in front of someone else as he has done. I really appreciate that. He can eat from the most unhygienic of places. He has no table manners. Eats in a way that could embarrass others. But still has confidence to eat in same manner again. He likes to crib about everything. He never has enough cash in his pocket. He is very rude to people at times. He takes comments from people very seriously and gets hurt, but doesn’t shy from commenting on others. He likes to spend that with his friends from school (why he does that and come empty handed here I don’t know). I really don’t like this about him. Is really irresponsible. But is trying to change this. He is smartest of the lot among my friends mentioned here. He is another one who attracts all the attention towards him. He can narrate any incidence in an awesome manner. He has pretty good communication skills. He can impress people with his talk. He really likes to dream a lot. But when his dreams are shattered he becomes very sad. Why does he always dream wildly, I don’t know. People don’t like him much for various reasons (some people really hate him for reasons which are of no concern to me). But, I have always loved him for his honesty to me. Even my brother noticed that I loved the guy. It was pleasant to hear that he was going to stay in Mumbai. I know for sure that both of us will keep in touch with each other and have our friendship going (at least I wish this).

P.S: The above article was written with good intentions. It wasn’t meant to hurt anyone. It simply expresses my views about my friends. As I have said earlier, in spite of your shortcomings (which one rarely agrees to) I like you all a lot. I am not being judgmental about you people. This is what I feel.

Have a nice life. Try to be in contact

God Bless You All

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Daksh & I

I am posting my first article on my blog page. As it can be seen it’s about Daksh. I attempted writing on other topics but it couldn’t materialize. As the name of the blog page suggests I am going to write about absolutely anything and everything that comes to my mind. So thought of starting my blogging career by writing about myself – Daksh, an arbit personality whom even I am trying to understand (as is evident I have been unsuccessful in that).

I am a tall, fair boy, who is extremely lean and appears to be grossly underweight. (I have reduced 8 kilos in past 2 years, going at this rate I will be extinct in next 15 years). I am no hunk (far from it actually). I would like to become one, one day. (body like hrithik roshan). I am pretty insecure of my body. I have my hair combed in same fashion from the time I can remember. I like it that way. My Father gave me that hairstyle and I haven’t changed it since. I generally wear branded stuff (I haven’t bought any of them except my pair of shoes). I am not frenzy about them or anything. I just happen to have them. I like to be dressed properly all the time. I walk in a rather weird fashion with my shoulders being upright and straight. It has now made me conscious of my walk (though lately). I am bespectacled for 9 years. I am now habitual of them. I own a pair of contact lenses which I rarely wear (they are such a pain to wear). I would like to wear sunglasses but I don’t own them. I want to wear branded ones which are stylish and durable. (can’t wear the ones from the roadside).

I speak very fast (so fast that most of the times people can’t understand what I am saying). My vocabulary of English language is poor (its good enough to communicate and express my thoughts completely). I am interested in improving it, but don’t know any sure shot way of improving it. I have given up on it as I don’t think there is much chance of improvement. I try to entertain others when I am given a chance. I speak for long hours given an opportunity. I crack stupid jokes which wouldn’t make me laugh most of the times. I have an okayish sense of humor (far from being called good or even decent). I use my hands a lot in the sense that I move them a lot. I like entertaining people being physical (not harmful to boys or dangerous to girls) as my mouth can’t do it properly. I am kind of a shy person sometimes.

I want to do so many things in life. Basically I want to experience everything in life. Presently, I might say I want to do an MBA from a foreign university. But I don’t care much about it either. A couple of years back I wanted to become an IAS officer and then a politician. I later realized doing IAS is really tough (have to give like nine exams, with knowledge in around 2-3 subjects of the level of masters of those subjects). My ambitions change every now and then. I have many alternatives which can keep me happy in future. Not only will an MBA or becoming politician will help me achieve that. (though they are one of the many things which will give me satisfaction). I want to be happy. Managing a football club will make me happy. Becoming a CEO of a company will make me happy. Setting up my own business will make me happy. I want to do something which satisfies me. I also want to have money in life. (Lots of it???, yeah why not!!!)

I respect money. I know money has great importance in my life. I can’t live without it. I also know it’s not everything. To me it is just a means to have all materialistic comforts that world can provide. (I agree socially it has lot of importance and I realize that also). I just dream, sometimes if I had more money I would have done so many things in life which I wanted to do. By the time I can earn that much money I wouldn’t be able to do all the things I dream of (maybe my children will be able to do them).

This brings my mind to another important aspect of my life – Girl. I don’t want one presently as I know my life is in a transitional phase. I run behind females as if I want to marry them or have sex with them then and there itself (as if they would want to have it with a lean guy who is no hunk). I don’t even care about the females I look on street. I don’t even look at them carefully. I do stare at them (which even I don’t like). I just do it because it kind of attracts other people’s attention (in a group) to what I am saying (rather doing). I had a girl friend a many years back for a couple of years. I loved her a lot but it somehow didn’t work out. I had an experience of a lifetime in that relationship. I never talk to anyone about what happened, how we separated. It was just destined to happen. I was a really bad boy friend. I was totally insecure about her. I was really possessive about her. Its good for her that it ended. I am not rather particularly happy about what had happened. I am still bothered by it. I try to take it out of my mind but when I am alone it gets back to me. I have kind of become used to living with it. I talk about her to some people sometimes. I don’t really care much about her now. But if she comes and talks to me I am fine with it. I don’t love her now. Neither am I much bothered about her present. Its just the past that we shared doesn’t leave me. I am just reminded of it when I am alone and have absolutely nothing else to do (they say “empty mind’s a devil’s place”). I am sure that this will soon go as I step into a new world. I don’t like people asking me questions about how we broke up. I feel its not anyone’s business. I can’t tell about it to anyone as I feel embarrassed to say it. There were mistakes committed by both of us. I don’t blame her neither do I take the complete blame for it. I want to forget about it as soon as possible. I have learnt a lot from it. I am the person I am now because of it. I know I have grown from that relationship in the right way. I am guilty of what all wrong I did to her. I can never forgive myself for it. I Hate myself for it. I talk about her a lot sometimes (about relationship and stuff) which even I don’t like and I don’t know why. I sometimes consider it a big deal, and as if it was something very big (though it was). I don’t want to think like that but I still do. I know I am confused. I am scared to enter into a relationship after last time’s experience (provided I get a girl friend). I feel it is highly unlikely for me to get a girl in next couple of years (until I change myself). I have a rather strange attitude towards females. I treat them like boys many a times. I do so as I feel I should behave in the same way in front of everyone. I don’t think they feel bad for the language I use, or the things I say. I don’t know what kind of girl I want to date in future (her characteristics and stuff). I know if I like the girl that would do. I don’t care much about how they look (its just an initial attraction which soon fades away). I do care about how the girl is in person. I am basically a bit confused about this. When I get a girl or marry one I would be able to tell better (I would myself know better).

I have done decently in academics. I consider myself intelligent. I consider everyone has brains, its just that some people apply others don’t (due to the circumstances or whatever some are able to apply, some are not). I don’t consider myself as the smartest person, rather a smart person. I am a pervert of some sort. I like to watch porn for physical satisfaction (rather sexual satisfaction). I like watching and playing some games, which I like (though I suck at playing games). I would like to change this one day. I am a highly optimistic person. I believe in striving for things until u get them. ‘Practice makes a Man Perfect’, I strongly believe in it. I have an extremely strong mind, in the sense I am a determined person. I tend to be complacent at times. I am trying hard to work on that. I am an honest person (or try to be always). I have lied enough in life not to be called one though. I am not a mean person, and always try not to be mean to anyone. I try my level best to help others, but sometimes it’s just not good enough. I am an emotional and sensitive person. I never forget if someone has done something wrong to me (or I feel they have). I can’t forgive any mistake or any wrong someone has done to me (you have committed a mistake, accepting it won’t change anything). Though, I can’t be angry on people for too long. I just stop caring about them. Sometimes I tend to discuss a lot, most of the times I am right. But still I don’t like doing it, but still I do it. I am a very moody person. I don’t like it, but still am, trying to change it. I don’t like to be rude with people. I use a lot of abusive language. I don’t like it. I am trying to stop using it. I have been rude to people which I myself don’t like. I regret it afterwards. I tend to say things without realizing what impact it might have on other person. I consider myself a mature person; still I say things which hurt people. I really don’t like hurting people or saying things which disturb them. I am a philosophical person. I like to counsel people. I don’t know why, it makes me feel better. I like it when someone takes my advice, follows it and it works for them. I don’t mind if someone doesn’t follow my suggestion, even if he/she had asked for it (it’s for the individual to decide what’s right or wrong for them, I am no one to decide). I have a good memory. I tend to remember birthdates to phone numbers of the people I want to. I don’t forget such things. I always remember if someone does something good to me. I never forget the favors people have done for me. I use the word ‘sorry’ a lot. I really don’t mean it always (it just makes others feel happy, that’s why I use it). I sometimes mean it and apologize continuously for long time. I don’t like people advising me. I never go to anyone to advice me. I am born with enough brains to know what is right or wrong. I know when I have been done something wrong or been wrong to someone. I feel bad about it. I don’t want others to remind me continuously if I was wrong. If someone says it to me once it’s fine. I like it when people criticize me. Firstly, I am at least noticeable that people are pointing out my mistake. Secondly, it helps me get better. I like to better myself if I am wrong. I know I have committed many mistakes in life, many of which are irreversible. I learn from my mistakes and try not to commit them again in future. I don’t like to miss any action happening around me (but strangely I nearly always miss it, wrong timing). I don’t have many ideas about where should the group go or stuff. I haven’t been much outside my home to know what all places are there. I agree with my friends to go where ever they decide. I am kind of a pushover in this case. I don’t like when people in a group fight over such trivial issues (about where to go), just to satisfy their egos. I am not a very egoistic person. I like it when I am the center of attraction. I also like when people give me attention (rather me earning it, it’s a rarity). I don’t have the best of narrating skills (its so bad that it can’t be described as skill). I am a very insecure person. I am insecure of all the people around me (be it friends, brother, in past girlfriend) except my parents. I hate to be sidelined and ignored.(I feel when u r with me be with me, give me more attention than anyone else).I am a trustable person. I never tell something about someone else when that person has entrusted me to keep it with me. I believe that all the information which i dont learn personally from the person about whom it is, i can tell others and join in gossiping. I do gossip but I don't like doing it. I am confused about many issues in life. I always wanted life to be simple without any complexities. I was wrong. At one point of time, my life was so complex, that even I forgot what part I was playing in it. I want my life from now onwards to be simple but I am sure it won’t be. I know this is how I can learn in life. This is how I can be a better person. I want to spend one complete day where I don’t commit mistakes (like hurting people, discussing, using abusive language etc). It’s my ultimate dream to be a good person in front of my own eyes. I love some people. I don’t hate anyone. I just Hate ‘Daksh’ for all the wrongs I have done in my life. Given a chance I would only like to change myself.

I want to change myself a lot to be a better person. I will keep improving myself till I die. Though my name means perfection I know I have to struggle hard to achieve it. I want to be rich in life, be happy in life and be someone who would make me proud.
I want to make others happy also but that is after I am happy and satisfied.


Post Script: If I have forgotten to write something, then one is free to add anything in comments section.